Monday, 2 January 2017

Satanic yoga

'What's satanic about it?' I ask. The reply comes later.

Yoga in Black, described unofficially if not on the website as satanic, recoils from modish body fascism in stark white-walled crucibles.

Instead, it is uncompetitive in kind lighting with a soundtrack described as dark ambient, doom metal, drone and Gothic rock.

The finer distinctions elude me but the main thing is that the music isn't loud - you can hear the teacher speaking quietly.

The theme is acceptance and for those who know their chakras it's a variation of Dru yoga. There's plenty of movement and it all looks achievable, unlike the contortionist stuff of the fanatics.

I barely notice the soft-sell paganism. Then I have a hellish four hours with a flat tyre in the cold, dark and rain. 

Just as I am thoughtfully examining the gel-filled pee bags kept in the glove box, someone emerges from the nearest house with several bags of post-festivity rubbish and recycling. 

This denotes a life of civic virtue and social contact, rather than an axe-man in drag, so I ask to use the lavatory. And when the repair man turns up, I take up the sainted Lucia's offer of refuge with her family for the hour it takes him to fix the tyre.

She says I look 'overwhelmed', not 'demonically possessed', please note. A bossy Dachsund called Colin teaches me a ball game. This is the closest I get to a family Christmas.

More pictures if you scroll down.

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