Saturday, 12 September 2015

Hot faces and Charlotte Proudman

@crproudman poked a peacock on LinkedIn. Then it fanned its tail in response to her face.

I'd like to show you the face concerned but I can't because its photo (right) is heavily masked - by a studied pose, fashion (it may not seem like that to you now, but in 20 years' time it will), make-up, hair grooming/colouring products, and a thick veil of Photoshop which might as well be a burqa.

Touching up photos is not new, of course. Here are some examples, chosen entirely at random:

Louise Brooks

Bettie Page

Amanda Barrie in 'Carry On Cleo'
Mandy Rice-Davies

@crproudman and I have three connections in common on LinkedIn. One of them was a legal adviser to Occupy London. And here's a related tip: if responses to your LinkedIn photo are causing you stress, draw your own picture. My own LinkedIn image is of an Occupy protester with his V for Victory mask at the Finsbury Square camp. Spyro, I hear you're doing OK. Ring your mum.

Some have suggested to @crproudman that she should get on her pole. That is unfair. The ID pictures on my twitter accounts are drawings of a pole dancer. And not just any pole dancer, but Ayumi LaNoire, pole performer (and winner of some serious awards for same), fire-eater, model, actress (she has a beautiful low-pitched voice, which you can't see in her pictures).

Unfortunately for the peacock, who says that @crproudman's photo is the best he has ever seen on LinkedIn, Ayumi doesn't feel the need to be on that distressing site.


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